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How to Advocate for Yourself without Second-Guessing Yourself

Written by Rebecca Okamoto on Dec. 9, 2019


"I don't advocate for myself because I'm afraid someone will perceived me as ____."

Fill in the blank.

  • Arrogant

  • Self Centered

  • Self promoting

Do you frequently worry about how you are perceived? Does it stop you from speaking up, advocating for yourself, or asking for an exception? Does the fear of perception stop you more than you'd like?

You're living in the perception trap.

You are failing to act because of what you THINK someone might say. We fear perception for real reasons. BUT... are they realistic?

Is your career better off with you stuck in the perception trap?

Probably not.

I'm going to challenge you to stop worrying about other people's perception for ONE reason:

Every minute you focus on HOW you're perceived is a minute you're not focused on WHO you are.

We move towards our focus. So we can spend our energy worrying about something we can't control. Or we can concentrate on making a difference and adding value.

Ready to break free of the perception trap?

Try these 4 simple steps and change your focus from what others perceive of you to what you perceive of yourself.

  1. Write down who you are.

    For example:

    "I am courageous, compassionate, and strategic."

  2. Then say out loud:

    "Every minute I worry about how I'm perceived, is a minute I'm NOT focused on being courageous, compassionate, and strategic."

  3. Every time you worry about how you're perceived

    Or you find yourself justifying NOT speaking up...

    Remind yourself of WHO YOU ARE: "I am courageous, compassionate, and strategic."

  4. Then take action. Speak up. Ask. Advocate.


You can't control how people perceive you.

You CAN control how you perceive yourself.

Let's stop the fear of perception from stopping us. Instead, let's act with conviction, character and courage.

I'll bet people perceive us in a whole new light.



Are ready to make a change? Check out

you: better You: Better. The Introvert's Guide to Career Reinvention

Career Myth BUSTED Career Myth BUSTED: Your Results AREN'T Speaking for You

Dangers of Distraction The Dangers of Distraction



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